..it's killing me..

..it's killing me..
..knowing you're gone forever..
..why do i want to fight for this so much..
..why can't it be you and me..
..it's killing me so much knowing i am so hopeless..
..i still love you..i still want you..
..why do you have to come in and out of my life..

..i miss it..

..i miss it..
..i miss it when you text me all day..
..i miss it when you text me even when am beside you..
..i miss it when you call me when am just a few feet away from you..
..i miss it when you wake me up in the middle of the night just to exchange text messages..
..i miss it when we use to exchange voice messages..
..i miss it when you call me to your place..
..i miss it when i always get lost just to be with you..
..i miss it when you drive me home..
..i miss it when you call me just to say thank you i attended one of your events..
..i miss it when you called..and i didn't have to talk..i just have to listen to your voice...
..i miss staying at your place..
..i miss having mcdo for dinner with you..
..i miss it when you always buy a 'cheese burger' when you know i hate cheese so much..
*you'd scrape of the cheese out of the burger and have it for yourself*
..i miss exchanging french fries with you..
..i miss the way you munch on your food then suddenly kiss me..
..i miss it when we drink soda together..
..then we'd taste like the soda when we kiss..
..i miss the way you squeeze me..
..when you squeeze me real tight..
..i miss spending time with you..even if it's just for a few minutes..
..i miss it when you beg for a voice message..
..i miss all the nights we shared..
..i miss sharing my pillow with you..
..i miss the way you squeeze me when i sleep..
..i miss it when you snore..
*it keeps me up all night*
..i miss staying in your arms,,
..i miss you..
..i miss everything about you..
..when i play with your hair..
..i miss you..
..i just miss you..
..the you..
..

..nothing hurts more than this..

..nothing hurts more than this...

..when someone lets go of you when all you want to do was stay..
..when you're willing to fight and to face all complications..
..but things itself had quit on you..

..nothing hurts more than this...
..when all you want to do was to love him..til the end..
..but he keeps pushing you away and makes you stop loving him..

..when you've found a reason to live..
..but it is what kills you too..

..now that i've got dreams...
..now that i've got plans..
..when you've found a reason to live..
..just when you've found your purpose...
..when you've found life..

..it just kills you the instant you started to breathe..

..now it's really hard to start over..
..it's hard to find another reason to live..
..when all you wanted to live for was what kills you..

..the reason why you would always want to wake up in the morning...
..facing another day to love you..
...i just want to love you..
..i feel so weak facing another day..without you beside me..

..nights we had..
..dreams we shared..
..promises we made..
..love we built..
..story we constructed..

..the me i used to be..
..you played the reason for me to change..
..now..i don't know how to make this through..
'my heart may never mend..and you'll never get to love me again..'

..you'll never get to love me again..
..worst thing..
..nothing hurts more than this..
..how can two become one..then part..

..how can i possibly forget all the things you told me??
..promises you made..
..a part of me you lived in..

..i think i can never get over this..
..if it's real..and true..it won't die..
..i may love someone else in the future..
..but not as real as this..

..we both only can prove things in time..
..in time..to prove both of us..together..and individually..
..you've made space for us both to grow..
..i might really be thankful for that..
..i need to be a lot more stronger than this..
..to be more self-sufficient..
..how long does it have to take??
..i have no idea..
..i would want to wait..
..but fear fills in..
..though i trust you..i believe you..
..i just fear that you'd be a different person in time..
..someone i never knew..
..someone i never would have thought that i would have in my arms..
..locked my lips with..
..breathe with..lived with..
..now am squeezing the pillow we used to share..:(
..soak it with tears..

..i never get tired of you..i never will..
..i just have no idea how am i gonna live through this..
..either will i regret you..

..i could say more..do more..
..only if i'd have the chance again..

..i'd stay quiet..
..not sure how's it gonna be..
..one thing i know..
..i can't stop myself loving you..
..even if you're gone..

..ilychi...
..ily so much..
..can't do anything but miss you terribly..

..ilychi..

..how long does it have to take..

..how long does it have to take getting over you??

..i really don't want you out of my life but why do you have to push me away..

..why is it so hard to squeeze the truth out of you..


..why do you make me feel you care for me..
..but excruciate me with your words..

..dolor..

..my dolor..my felicity..

..dolor and felicity of one cause..

..leaving is a crucial decision..

..waking up crying...

..is that even a normal thing to do first thing in the morning????

..i thought slowly am being over you..

..how come am missing you so much..

..so much that i am so craving of waking up next to you..

..and when i don't find you beside me...

..it brings sorrowful tears.