..it is so mundane..

..it is so mundane..
..living in this planet and having to go on with the culture..

..just because everyone does something else, doesn't mean having to have to do it..

..doing the wrong thing is wrong..even if everybody does it..
..doing the right thing is right..even if you're the only one doing it..

..a saying oftenly ignored..
..make a difference..
..start from within...

..set an example...so as for the others to follow...

..left without a choice..

..i can't but i have to..
..i have to grow..
..i have to figure things out on my own..
..learn reality of life..
..sometimes we have to be broken to have a good start..

..i am broken and torn apart..
..i failed..i stumbled and fall..
..
..i want to be strong in terms like this..
..i have to move on..

..i have to leave all memories of you behind..
..i have to keep going..

..i hate this feeling

..i hate this feeling..
..makes me real crazy..
..i keep asking myself.."what have i NOT done??"
..where did i lack??..what did i lack??..
..wasn't my love sufficient??

..now..why can't i just go on and forget about you..
..why con't i just regret you and move on..

..why do these tears always have to come..
..why do i have to think of you before i go to sleep at night.
..why do you still have to be my very first thought in the morning..

..why do i always worry about you..
..why do i ask these questions..
..why do i still care about you so much..
..when you care less..

.why does she have to exist..

..why did we have to exist..

..never ending Ys..

..it's getting harder and harder to breathe each day..

..i am left wih a sulken mind..

..drowning with all sorts of questions that i may not find any answers to it..

..i deserve to be love, and i love to much..

..i've given my all..how could you say i am not enough..

..would someday come for us..

..why'd you allow yourself to fall for another..

..why am i not enough..

..i hate the fact that i am still so inlove with you..

..i hate the fact taht i allowed myself to love you more than enough..

..it was so easy to love you..

..why is it so hard to forget you..or hate you..

..what it seems to be..

..why can't i accept the fact that you've found someone new..
..why can't i just go on and think i have a better life than yours..
..why am i still hoping for a future with you..inspite of all the pain i've been through with you..
..why can't i just choose to be happy..


..so there's this guy..
..who made me fall in love with him..
..made promises with his sweet tongue..
..and broke it also withhis tongue..

..you've done me wrong..
..i've provoked wrong things to you..

..why can't i accept that you are not for me..
..that there's someone more deserving than you..
..someone who could appreciate things i've done for you..

..i want you to notice allthe things i've done and given you..
..why do you still search for others..
..why can't you give me answers..
..what have i done that made you change your mind..

..i hate you so much that i love you..

..me..moving on..

..moving on might be the hardest thing to do..
..and it is a must that at one point we have to..

..i've got my own life..
..whatever stops me..i've got to leave..
..moving on is never an easy thing for us humans to do..

..i was promised this and that..
..i was told i'd be loved..
..i was told to be the last..
..i was told a lot of sweet things..
..i was scared to lose him..
..i was told that no matter what happens, our story would never end..

..i felt secure..
..i felt happiness and love wrap around me..
..i was loved..who wouldn't want to be loved by someone you love??!

..he wants me to go on..
..he told me to stay and never ever give up on what we have..
..i learned to love him, me, 'us'..

..there's never a perfect story when problems set in..
..troubles surround us and allowed it to beat 'us'..

..now..everything's gone..
..i can never own something i just borrowed..

..i've got to live my life now without anyone but Him..

..He's given me talents and abilities to that would adore Him..

..in time..i might meet my significant other 'again'..
..in time..we're both better..
..wrong stories..i really pray would be right if we learn things on our own..

..moving on..
..starting over..
..finding my purpose..
..going on..
..is what i have to do..
..to find the better me..
..to live my life to the only one source of life..





..am still hoping you'd be the right one for me..
..no matter what we've been through in life...

..still confused..

..confused..
..where am i?
..what am i feeling?
..who am i??

..i am human..
..i can feel..
..i feel empty..
..i am alone..

..starting over..

..am scared to be someone 'who i was'..
..i am who i was..
..i was someone without anything before i met him..
..i had no dreams..i had no goals..
..i only had fantasies..
..i never knew who i really was..or what's in me..
..all i know..i breathe..without knowing the real purpose..

..he came and happened to me in a way i never thought it would..
..for years, i felt i am loved..and accepted by someone who wouldn't question who i am..
..someone God used to be the medium to find my life..
..someone God used to form my dreams..
..i slowly found me..slowly finding the purpose of my life..

..but..being cultural..
..i had the attention i never deserved to have..
..i kissed those lips i shouldn't have..
..i look into the eyes of a person who's not mine..
..i lived by a lie..
..i was taken of by fantasy..
..i lived a dream am supposed to be leading..

..i was happy..
..i was overwhelmed..
..i had everything..
..i am not a failure..
..i have the man i've dreamt about..

..i can be who i am when i am with him..
..i had the whole world..
..i know i can have my dreams come true..


..one mistake..i made him my life..
..i turned away from Him who gave me him..
..i am supposed to live my life with him for Him..
..i didn't..

..and now i am hurting..
..i am failing..

..i don't know where to start..
..i want the dreams i want to work hard for..

..i really get used to being with him..
..i was told i could be confident enough am gonna have him in my life..

..i don't know how to start over without out someone that makes me go on..
..that makes me hold on to my dreams..
..i don't know who i am now without him..

..i don't know how to start my life now that i don't have the reason to live..
..i am left so broken..

..i don't know who i am..
..i don't wanna be who i was..





..starting over..left with nothing..
..might be the hardest thing to do..
..especially, you don't know where to start, how to start..
..and who to start with...

..am a changed person..
..i am a better person..
..someone is the reason for my change..
..but what about now??
..how can i still be someone without the reason of being me..

..i am so lost..