..starting over..

..am scared to be someone 'who i was'..
..i am who i was..
..i was someone without anything before i met him..
..i had no dreams..i had no goals..
..i only had fantasies..
..i never knew who i really was..or what's in me..
..all i know..i breathe..without knowing the real purpose..

..he came and happened to me in a way i never thought it would..
..for years, i felt i am loved..and accepted by someone who wouldn't question who i am..
..someone God used to be the medium to find my life..
..someone God used to form my dreams..
..i slowly found me..slowly finding the purpose of my life..

..but..being cultural..
..i had the attention i never deserved to have..
..i kissed those lips i shouldn't have..
..i look into the eyes of a person who's not mine..
..i lived by a lie..
..i was taken of by fantasy..
..i lived a dream am supposed to be leading..

..i was happy..
..i was overwhelmed..
..i had everything..
..i am not a failure..
..i have the man i've dreamt about..

..i can be who i am when i am with him..
..i had the whole world..
..i know i can have my dreams come true..


..one mistake..i made him my life..
..i turned away from Him who gave me him..
..i am supposed to live my life with him for Him..
..i didn't..

..and now i am hurting..
..i am failing..

..i don't know where to start..
..i want the dreams i want to work hard for..

..i really get used to being with him..
..i was told i could be confident enough am gonna have him in my life..

..i don't know how to start over without out someone that makes me go on..
..that makes me hold on to my dreams..
..i don't know who i am now without him..

..i don't know how to start my life now that i don't have the reason to live..
..i am left so broken..

..i don't know who i am..
..i don't wanna be who i was..





..starting over..left with nothing..
..might be the hardest thing to do..
..especially, you don't know where to start, how to start..
..and who to start with...

..am a changed person..
..i am a better person..
..someone is the reason for my change..
..but what about now??
..how can i still be someone without the reason of being me..

..i am so lost..